my vag is so smooth its legendary
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize