i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
