I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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