So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
