Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
