It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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