Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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