Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
