i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
