No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My bed smells like the plague
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
