chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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