I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
