I want to walk on stilts...naked
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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