if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
