Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
