How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
