I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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