Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
