You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
