after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
