okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
