So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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