Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
