Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
