So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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