Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
