And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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