I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize