remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
