Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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