Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
