Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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