Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
