All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
