I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize