remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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