i think my mom watched the whole time
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
