Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
