So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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