that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
