Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
