Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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