you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
