i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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