they need to just BURY HIM!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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