I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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