she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
