babies were throwing up all over the place
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
How external is "for external use only"?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
