Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have peed in a lot of sinks
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
