The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize