when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Panties = found
Randomize
