so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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