dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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