Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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