Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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