I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
