Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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