guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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