Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
