Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
